June 10, 2017
Summers are tough for me. Three years ago, I was in such a different, horrible place. I really wanted to die. I had until the end of July to move out of our house. I remember one summer night a thunderstorm came through, and as soon as I saw the lightning, I ran out back to be in the heart of it. Covered in cold, wet rain, I remember looking up and screaming, "Take me!!!!" "Strike me!!!" My tears mixed with the raindrops, it was a night I will never, ever forget.
Sometimes my head messes with me. Not my heart, but my head. I know I made the right decision, and I'm so grateful it wasn't too late. We saved our house, we saved our friendship, and we saved our marriage. Just Thursday night, we were both home, watching TV in the living room, and the next thing we knew, it was after 2 AM. Neither of us were tired, and we totally enjoyed just chit-chatting and hanging out. Two-plus hours later, it was time to go to bed. I woke up yesterday fresh-as-a-fourth-grader, and the lack of sleep didn't seem to have an effect. It's absolutely awesome to still love the person you're married to after twenty years. This September will be our 20-year anniversary..... Who ever would have thought, in 2014.......
God, I'm so relieved you didn't "strike me" when I asked you to. Thank you.